I guess, today's one of the worst dinner i've ever had w you?
it's like sitting in front of you, holding back those tears while looking at your lovely face.
not like how i could let the tears flow down like how i do now while typing this.
told you that my eye is being irritating and tears would keep coming out the whole day,
but no, its only when i'm facing you.
remembering everything, makes my heart real pain.

i don't know if you'll ever come across my blog at all,
since its the only place where i can really say out my feelings,
with no one knowing (i guess)
sometimes i'd think, if leaving would make everything better?
you don't know how i feel, nor do i know how you feel.

i love it when you're sweet to me,
i love it when you're nice/good to me,
i love it when you always make me laugh,
i love it when you're trying very hard to surprise me,
i love it when you smile.

but why? what happened afterall?
and soon, you're entering NS, what am i supposed to do?
it ain't easy, i know. but, although i promised i'll wait,
how long can i really bear w it? :(

i'm back to this familiar place again,
because i can no longer find any place for me to rant.
twitter's so wide, Facebook's too .. me-no-like.
so end up, i remembered i still have this place that could make me feel so right :)

i'm sorry i neglected this space for so long,
and i regretted cos i can't look back to what happened in between.
but RP's giving me RJ to do everyday, which makes me feel tired to blog :/
and for now, it'll be just like my old friend again.

shall start w saying, i miss the past and everything else except the future and now.
what to do? people would say, i'm too stressed and stuff.
but the way i'm feeling now, its like as if its tough to even breathe.
time can't stop, money's everything.

19th supposed to be the deadline for school fees, and yet it can't be paid ..
i know, family condition ain't as good alr, but still this heavy-hearted feeling..
to know that someone else paid my sch fees for me,
one that i can't accept even if i didn't say it out.
it made me felt really so useless and pathetic, yet i can do nothing but cry.
wanna push you away, yet my heart aches like never before.
how i wish to tell you that, hey i wanna go home myself today, all alone without you.
because all i wanna do is to cry, yet i can't do that in front of you.
totally sucky, but yet, all i needed actually was you to come and comfort me,
telling me that everything will be alright.
so contradicting, i needed you yet i wanna push you away..

you've been wonderful, sometimes i'd even think that,
hey i don't suit you. you're beyond perfect, so right.
yet i would only do things that upset you, and most of the time,
being a burden to you. you complained, time after time,
end up you still forgive me. i can't help but feel so useless.

shall stop here i guess! its late alr.
crying to sleep tonight uh?
and, its the 13month when the clock strikes 12am.
what to do? when i don't feel any good w you at all ...

- Here's updates! firstly, my 17th birthday! enjoyed very much.
of course, much loves to the people who celebrated with me! :D
and many thanks to those who wished me, especially Soh Shi Hua!
some of the pictures are uploaded, rest are on fb!

























- Next up, Chalet from 5th-7th!
birthdays of Cheuk wing on the 5th,
Huiling's on the 7th!
also, Jiahui's bf small surprise cake, bday on the 8th!
3 days 2 night chalet, i love it.
baby stayed over for both nights too, despite being sick. (L)
had alot of fun, hoping for another one soon! (:





And so, my daily life of holidays are ending for now,
tmrw's start of school, new class, new classmates (again)
sian ttm. RP's driving me to become anti-social, tsk.

& recently .. hmm things aren't smooth for me, and baby.
hoping for the day when everything is back to normal.
more news on me will be in twitter and facebook.
updating lesser on blogger alr, but will try to update everyday still.
when i'm alone in class doing nothing :x hopefully!
heh, and i'm falling sick, thanks to bb! hmph.
takecare everyone!
much loves.

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T V W X Y Z
which letter did i miss?
i missed u (:
that's you, only you baby.

Helloooooooooooooo ~
here to update awhile before it strikes 12am! (:

hmm, got my pay ! yesyes, happy :D
but, school's also re-opening next week ):
this week gonna be fun! anticipating!
of course, am joining the 17club in minutes also,
heheh!

well, at least i'm getting better with bb, somehow.
spent my saturday sleeping at his house, like a pig.
not my fault though, with only about an hour's sleep,
went to shop early with parents and help out abit, eat breakfast.
off to find him alr, not much energy at all, so blame who? :x

today, got a lunch treat by aunty doreen!
and also gift from aunty esther! HAPPY :D
ichiban sushi for lunch, w doreen+leon, esther+arin+ahma and sister!
2 ipads, 2 itouchs, 1 iphone4, machiam apple product family.
after that shopped at cotton on, spent money again!
accompany Arin to play her swing somewhere near,
then aunty esther sent us home!
washed up, met baby @ town, he had his lunch,
then went over to far east, bought specs, (Y)
also, same watch with bb ! i likeeeee :D
back to his coffeeshop, early birthday celebration for his sister.
left @ 8.30, home 9.30pm. (:

am awaiting, anticipating, hoping.
somehow, had a bad feeling :/

- Forever and always.

- 如果这就是爱情

Yesterday am out with sisters! plus Desmond.
went Vivo ~ first stop @ Carls Jr, had my beef chilli cheese fries,
shared with jh and des, (Y) nice!
started shopping, yjh started her shopping craze,
bought stuff from forever21 and cotton on.
dinner @ PastaMania, met B later on.
left them without saying, sorry peeps! ):

today's when i heard the harshest words from you ever.
and also, how it breaks my heart.
it has never hurt so much before, i don't like that feeling.
but still, i'm glad neither you nor me left, we hanged on.
i guess, it takes time for both our hearts to heal.
still, iloveyou baby.

Today,
slept till 3pm. baby called to wake me up.
guess my eyes were tired from all the crying yesterday.
cooked my lunch, watched the tv, used the computer.
prepared and headed out @ 5.30pm,
met bb, train down to clementi. dinner there.
then bb's daddy drove us down to tpy.
trio talked, daddy, mummy and bb's daddy.
yupyup, ended @ ard 11pm, closed shop.
home @ 12am, with supper.

though pain's still there,
but still nothing meant more than seeing you,
laughed with you, talked with you (:
we're closer, much more closer now. i'm glad.
and how i wished you would stay.
如果我愿相信,你就是唯一

- Falling deeper into love, with you.

when he calls, the first thing he asked me.
Baby : Are you tired?
Me : Nope, why? :O
Baby : Because you're running in my mind now.
Me : awww!